Anger

When was the last time you were angry? Not upset or frustrated, but scream and kick angry?

For me, it was about a week and a half ago. I haven't completely picked apart the reasons why, but I was angry. I wanted to hit things. I wanted to scream. I did scream, in fact. I let loose an unimaginative staccato of profanity when I couldn't find a parking spot on my street. I beat the steering wheel and completely let loose with what I was feeling.

And it felt pretty good. Not the anger, per se, but the intensity and passion with which I expressed my feelings to absolutely no one. I felt genuine, free, uninhibited. I wasn't doing it for anyone and I wasn't hiding it from anyone. It was completely unlike most of my daily life and it was me. It was the most I've felt in a long time.

I don't know anger well.I'm often upset or frustrated or sad, but rarely angry. In experiencing anger, I experienced a side of myself that I am not familiar with. It was like finding out your PETA friend with dreads is a world famous MMA fighter, only more exciting because I learned something new about the person I know best. It was wholly unexpected.

As I continue to grow and evolve, I wonder what else I will learn about myself. I don't expect to be angry and lashing out all the time, but I hope that genuine expression of my feelings and beliefs becomes a part of me.