Challenge #3: Good Mornings

Each month this year I am challenging myself in a new way. Read more about this here.

Anyone who has interacted with me before noon knows I'm not a morning person. Yet, I chose a profession that has me at work by 7:30 every day. There have been far too many days where I groggily hit snooze so many times that I have to eat my breakfast in the car.

Despite my night-owl nature, I love mornings. I love the way the light comes in though my windows. I love watching the sunrise spread into daylight. Mornings are really nice.

This month I'll be working on taking advantage of my mornings. I've read about morning rituals here, here, and here recently, and these ideas have me feeling inspired.

Challenge #2: Wrap Up and Reflection

I don't know how I feel about this challenge.

Last month I had a sense of accomplishment when it was all over. I knew I had a achieved  my goal. This month... I'm not sure what success looks like. I don't know how to measure my success. Do I feel better about myself? Maybe a little bit. Do I feel like I achieved something? No. It wasn't a well thought out challenge and I regret that a little.

Do I regret choosing this challenge, though?

No.

I really needed this challenge. These first two months of 2015 have been hectic, stressful, and pretty depressing. Work is busy, my friends and colleagues have been going through a rough time, I had to skip a family vacation, and the record low temperatures have been confining me inside most days. It's really easy to only notice the bad stuff when life looks like this.

I feel better now, though, than I did on February 1st. And I chalk that up at least partly to my challenge.

I refused to let myself wallow. This has always been a weakness for me, so starting to break out of this habit has been a big improvement. Most of the time it's as simple as telling myself "no" and finding a new focus for my attention.

I sought out positive social interactions. Jesse and I went to the range at Fort Dix with some friends for Valentines day. I met up with my friends Kim and Sam for some Galentine's beer sampling and Chipotle. I spent a day building a snowtube run in my parents' front yard with my mom, dad, and brother. Yvonne and I are working to get out of our post-college social slump together. These small, novel social interactions are exactly what my introverted self needs.

I started taking better care of myself. I was getting lazy and eating copious amounts of sugar as the days got colder. This month I took steps to reverse that. I've been snacking on carrots and just started going to the gym again. I feel significantly better already.


I am not confining these changes to this month. Much in the way that January was a reset button for my spending habit, February was a chance to reset my relationship with myself. I hope to continue these changes through the year and beyond.



Now, on to next month: Develop a morning ritual.

Challenge #2: Update

Each month this year I am challenging myself in a new way. Read more about this here.

I know this isn't going to happen in one month.

I'm not going to wake up on March 1st and say "That's it! I'm much better now. I feel valuable and worthy. I really think I'm great."

I'd like to think that I'll be better off on March 1st than I was on February 1st, though. I hope that I'll have developed some positive habits to help me continue to improve throughout the year.

So far, I've been focusing on three things in particular:

1. Eating better. Specifically, having veggies as snacks when I'm feeling a little hungry. I'm also trying to cut down on my candy consumption. If I want something sweet, I try to make sure it's of high quality and will be satisfying.
2. Stopping negative thoughts. I mentioned this last week, too. Simply put, when I start to get stuck on a negative thought, I actively work to redirect my thoughts. No major breakthroughs, yet, but I hope to see a little progress over the next two weeks.
3. Approaching relationships from a place of love. My hope is that by avoiding things like complaints and unnecessary criticism I will improve my relationships and my own state of mind. I want to surround myself with loving, positive people and like attracts like, right?

How is your month going?

Challenge #2: Update

Each month this year I am challenging myself in a new way. Read more about this here.

This challenge is hard to quantify. Last month, I knew when I was being successful and when I was on the verge of not meeting my challenge. This month is much more subjective.

Am I showing myself more love this month than last? I'm not really sure.

I am much more conscious of myself, though. I'm thinking about myself and my wellbeing a little more. Food has been an obvious area in need of improvement. I notice when I pig out on chocolates and cookies that I feel crummy afterward. Taking care of myself is a form a love and and I need to be mindful of what I eat. Good food makes me feel good.

I also notice when I'm starting to fall into a sneaky hate spiral. I catch myself getting caught up in negative thoughts and try to stop it as soon as possible. This has been the hardest part of the challenge. When my mind is saying "You're not good enough," it's hard to fight back. I don't yet have a great way of responding to these moments. Some of the things that usually work are playing Tetris, watching Gilmore Girls, crafting, or journaling. It's more difficult when it pops up during work and I don't have an opportunity to step away from the situation. Despite this, I do think I'm making some improvement.

My List of Happiness

As part of my month of loving myself, I'm making it a habit to do things that make me happy.

Some people may feel that they spend all their energy on others, leaving little time for their own happiness. Others might be operating on autopilot, doing the same thing over and over again without ever feeling satisfied. In both situations, "good enough" is as good as it gets. We get by. We're fine.

I'm not accepting "fine" for myself this month. February is all about love and gifts, as the greeting cards chocolate companies remind us.

But instead of mindlessly indulging in cheap chocolate while grading, I'm mindfully doing things that make me happy.

So what does this mean?

For me this means identifying the things I can do that I know will leave me with a lasting sense of happiness, as opposed to quick-fix instant gratification. It's buying new underwear and burning candles (in both the literal and metaphorical sense). It's taking action and paying attention.


These things are:

1. Reading
2. Journaling/writing
3. Taking photos
4. Creating/crafting
5. Walking outside
6. Baking
7. Listening to podcasts
8. Soaking my feet
9. Drinking good coffee/wine
10. Laughing with Jesse

The trick is to do these things mindfully, with my full attention. That means putting down my phone, shutting off the computer, and devoting my attention to the task at hand. It also means thinking about my actions and being grateful for them. 

My hope is that if I do at least one of these things a day, I can develop a positive habit that will have a lasting effect.


What's on your list of happiness?

Challenge #2: Loving Myself

Each month this year I am challenging myself in a new way. Read more about this here.

This month I'm switching gears. For February I will be focusing on my word of the year as my challenge.

For one month, I will treat myself with love. This will look like:

• Stopping negative thoughts when they arise and replacing them with positive ones.
• Loving my body through yoga and walks.
• Pampering my skin with DIY spa treatments.
• Focusing on things that make me happy.
• Reading about love.

I thought this would appropriate for the Valentines/Galentines Day season.

How are you loving yourself this month?

Challenge #1: Wrap Up and Reflection

Well, it looks like I did it. One month without shopping.

Above all else, this first challenge helped me unlearn a bad habit. As I've said in my earlier posts, I hadn't started buying myself little pick-me-ups. It was largely mindless and pretty unnecessary. By choosing to not purchase anything this month I was forced to be more conscious of my impulses and actions.

I would come across a beautiful color on Pinterest and think "I would look so good with that color on my nails." But the impulse would stop there. I did not go out and buy that nail polish.

The hardest part of this experience was when I was in our local pharmacy picking up a prescription. I killed time by smelling the selection of Yankee Candles they had. They had scents I love, from evergreen to pumpkin spice, and all fall and christmas candles were on sale for half off. How could I pass that up? Instead of filling my basket with these little treats, I somewhat sullenly returned the candles to the shelf and walked away.



This challenge imposed structure and limits on my spending habits. I liked that. I knew it wasn't forever, so I didn't feel deprived. Instead, it was a practice in delayed gratification. I am considering putting this limit on myself every other month.

Going forward, there are a few purchases I plan to make early in February. I've been thinking about them for several weeks, so I know that they are something I need or want instead of an impulse purchase.



So that was my first monthly challenge. My next challenge will be a little less... challenging. More on that tomorrow.

Challenge #1: Update

I'm noticing two things about my no shopping challenge.

The first is that I'm quicker to spend money on experiences. In the last week I have gone to yoga twice, attended my first New Jersey Young Professionals happy hour, gone out to lunch with a coworker even though I had packed a lunch, and participated in a Wine and Design painting party.

This has made me realize that I wasn't clear on my goals for this challenge going into it. Did I want to save money or did I want to shift my focus from things to experiences? I'm still not sure, even now. I do know that I'm feeling happier overall. That'll do for me.

The second thing I've noticed is that my knitting has helped me be successful thus far. I am knitting a simple sweater for myself. By actively working towards a new piece of clothing that I know will fit me the way I want it to when it's all done (even if I have to unravel it multiple times - see photo above), I'm staving off that need for novelty in my outfits. When I get the urge to shop, I either pick up my needles or turn to Ravelry for future inspiration. I like the idea of making my own clothes. It's such a pain to find clothes that fit right, fill a need, and are the right price. By knitting them myself, I'm saving myself a lot of frustration.


How do you fight the urge to buy?

Challenge #1: Update

Each month this year I am challenging myself in a new way. In January I am not "buying things." Read about this challenge here.

It's been about two weeks since my last "shopping" purchase. The last thing I bought was a bunch of yarn and some knitting accessories for a sweater I'm making.

Since then, I've felt the impulse to buy rise up inside me almost once a day. I know the thrill of novelty will perk up my mood once I have whatever is calling to me at that moment. But, I know I don't need it. Still, the items make their way onto my Amazon wishlist nevertheless. Detailed coloring book? Aztec cleansing clay? New slippers to replace the beat-up ones on my feet? Part of me is convinced these things will make me happier. I'll be more relaxed, with clearer skin and warm, stylish feet.

I don't need these things, though. These things won't make me significantly happier in the long-run.

I have enough right now. 

I have books to be read, yarn to be knit, and cookbooks to explore. I have my journal and this blog. I have more than enough grading to do. I have a wonderful husband to talk to and pay Scrabble with. I have friends to catch up with.

New things are nice, now and then. But I'm trying to train my mind to believe in enough this month.

So far, so good.

Challenge #1: Don't Buy Things

I was never the kind of teenager who regularly went to the mall or bought fashionable clothes with my meager earnings. It therefore came as a surprise when I realize late in 2014 that I was buying things to make myself feel better. Between being far from home over the summer, planning a wedding, and getting back into the groove of the school year, I was feeling very stressed and anxious for most of the last few months.

It started off innocuously. A few small purchases here and there - for the wedding of course. Then it was some new nail polish to make myself feel pretty. Next I was buying fancy leggings. Then I started to feel guilty and went overboard with Christmas presents.

I was buying things for the joy of the novelty. It was new! It made me feel pretty! But I was quickly developing a bad habit. If I bought myself a little treat every time I felt crummy, I'd simply run out of money.


So for January I am putting myself on a spending diet.

I will not buy things this month. No clothes. No makeup. No books.

Instead I will focus on what I have and what experiences I can share with my loved ones. I'll get coffee with a friend. I'll go skiing with Jesse. I'll walk to my yoga studio.

I'll live within my means and be grateful for having enough.

2015: A Year of Challenges

Forming new habits can be daunting, especially when you have a habit (ha!) of biting off more than you can chew. Like many of you, the promise of a new year invigorates me, inspiring me to be better than I was. I storm into January with a list of goals and by March I can't remember what those goals were.

So you can understand my trepidation in announcing a year-long project. 12 months of commitment? So much can happen in a year. How will I keep up with it all?

I'm hesitant to even start. That little voice in my head keeps asking "What if you fail again?"

I don't know, unhelpful little voice.

But, here goes...

For those of you who are new here, take a moment to check out my friend Ann's blog. She is currently chronicling 52 weeks of challenges. She is really my inspiration for this. I was tempted to join her right from the beginning, but I was ensconced in planning a wedding at the time. Those things are tough!



It's a new year and I'm finally ready to give it a go.

For the next year, I'll be challenging myself in new ways every month.

My plan is to set a goal or a challenge for each month. At the beginning of the month I'll define the parameters and each week I will check in and share how it is going. My hope is to develop new habits and try new things while regularly blogging.

My first challenge will be starting on January 1: No unnecessary spending for one month. I'll be back soon with the details!